New Year’s Resolutions That Actually Stick

John Norcross: 150 million Americans are going to try to improve their behavior on January 1st. Let's not ridicule that; let's praise and support people to be the best they can be so they become healthier and happier.

BrentWelcome to Death Clock. I'm your host, Brent Franson. The mission of Death Clock is to help 100 million people live ten years longer. Today, we speak with Dr. John Norcross about setting New Year's resolutions that stick. Dr. Norcross is a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Scranton. He spent more than three decades studying New Year's resolutions and goal setting and has authored 22 books, including the acclaimed Changeology: Five Steps to Realizing Your Goals and Resolutions.

BrentDr. Norcross discusses the psychology of personal change and the scientific principles that form the foundation of successful goal achievement. Whether you're setting your New Year's resolutions, striving to maintain motivation, tracking your progress, or navigating the inevitable challenges along the way, Dr. Norcross's advice is an excellent way to start the year. I hope this episode is as motivating to you as it was for me.

BrentAs we head into the New Year and all of the promise that it brings, I hope you enjoy.

BrentDr. John Norcross, welcome to the show.

John Norcross: Thank you, Brent.

BrentSo we're sitting here on December 15th heading into New Year's resolution season, and I'm excited to do an episode on goal setting, a topic in which you are an expert. Before we dive into that, will you give us a sense of your background and bio?

John Norcross: I'm by training a clinical psychologist specializing in psychotherapy and behavior change. I'm a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of Scranton, a clinical professor of psychiatry at a couple of medical schools, and for the last 40 years, I've been researching and practicing psychotherapy and behavior change.

BrentYou've specialized in goal setting and written a book called Changeology. Talk about the relationship between behavior change, the traditional practice of a psychologist, and goal setting, where those interact, and how you became interested in goal setting.

John Norcross: The traditional clinical psychologist or psychotherapist is centrally involved in behavior change, helping patients realize their particular goals. So I don't experience much of a disconnect between the two. Patients come in and share what they'd like to achieve, whether that's symptom reduction, an increase in subjective well-being, improving relationships, or reducing substance use. Fundamentally, it's behavior change.

John Norcross: Historically, we've had an unfortunate disconnect between people changing behavior by themselves and psychotherapy assisting them, but it's all closely related. At the core of that is goal setting: identifying where you are trying to get, whether you're doing it by yourself, using self-help materials, or with the assistance of a therapist.

John Norcross: They're all on a continuum from complete self-help on one side to psychotherapy on the other. At the end of the day, it's behavior change, which begins with goal identification.

BrentMaybe we start with where we get goal setting wrong today. A typical experience might be: it's January 1st, you're feeling hungover after a rough December, and you write down everything you want to change about your life with the intent to do it this year.

BrentI'm going to stick that on the fridge, regularly remind myself, and get it done. What is right about that approach, and what is wrong about it?

John Norcross: Not much is right. What is right is the ceaseless human desire for self-improvement. Anytime someone has an epiphany and realizes they need to improve their life, that's wonderful. But there is a science to behavior change, and doing it impulsively while hungover by writing down everything is just a wish list, not a realistic goal.

John Norcross: We advise either taking resolutions seriously or not taking them at all. If you continually make wishes and fail, it decreases your self-efficacy—the realistic belief that you can change your behavior. Take it seriously: pick one or two realistic goals and progress in gradual steps.

John Norcross: A ton of research shows that realistic goal setting improves the chance of reaching your destination. It's a marathon, not a 100-yard dash, so let's approach it seriously—much like a job search. You don't wake up one day, quit your job on impulse, and start another.

John Norcross: That's impulsivity, not a systematic search. It's the same with resolutions. As we sit here on December 15th, we encourage everyone to start thinking about a realistic goal for the new year. Most resolvers take on an average of 1.8 resolutions, so picking two works equally well.

John Norcross: Doing two resolutions works as well as one.

BrentThat reminds me of a Warren Buffett quote where he advised writing down the top 30 things you want in life, then focusing exclusively on the top five and giving zero attention to items 6 through 30. That's the hard part.

BrentHe noted those secondary items distract you from your top priorities. What I hear you saying is that the number of resolutions matters—focusing on just one or two is key. Second, if we unrealistically set goals and fail because we lack a system or persistence, it harms our self-image.

BrentIt creates a vicious cycle. Can you speak more about that psychological loop?

John Norcross: You unintentionally disempower yourself, proving to yourself that you're unable to change when you actually can. I have treated thousands of patients and investigated hundreds of New Year's resolvers in our studies. We know people can succeed: across our research, about 40% of resolvers maintain success at six months.

John Norcross: In your example, someone making an impulsive decision at noon on January 1st while hungover is setting themselves up for failure. By midnight, they're convinced behavior change is impossible. What is actually impossible is their approach. Don't set yourself up to fail and end up making awkward jokes about it.

John Norcross: People say their resolution is to never make resolutions because they fail. They will fail if you set them up that way.

BrentBefore we cover proper methods, let's address another objection. What if someone doesn't write resolutions willy-nilly, but uses SMART goals—ensuring they are specific, measurable, and follow the framework?

BrentWhat do you say to someone who believes using the SMART framework guarantees success?

John Norcross: We like the SMART framework because it helps people set realistic, attainable goals with clear timelines. The "T" for timely in the SMART acronym is particularly important because doing certain things at specific times is essential. In December, preparing and psyching yourself up is exactly what you should be doing.

John Norcross: Once January arrives, you transition to different actions. SMART goals increase effectiveness, so by all means, use them.

BrentSo SMART goals help, but I assume SMART alone is not enough.

John Norcross: It's not just about identifying goals; there has to be execution. Before January 1st, it's about preparing and building momentum. In January, the real work begins—putting the plan into place requires a different set of skills.

John Norcross: SMART framework works beautifully before you begin taking action on your resolution.

BrentWhat if someone skips lists and SMART goals entirely, and instead creates a vision board on January 1st to remind themselves of what they want to manifest? What do you think of the vision board strategy?

John Norcross: We like vision boards as well. Research shows that people who use vision boards often naturally engage in SMART planning because creating the board forces you to identify goals, reasons for change, and potential relapse triggers.

John Norcross: If you're a visual person who prefers a vision board, go for it.

BrentSo a vision board fits into the preparation and planning phase, rather than the action phase itself.

John Norcross: The vision board doesn't get you to the goal by itself; it's just part of planning.

BrentWhat about setting general themes instead of specific goals? Someone might say, "I'm focusing on broad themes like being fitter or eating healthier to avoid failure." Is that effective?

BrentWhat's your response to that approach?

John Norcross: First, if you know that works for you based on past success, keep doing it. Second, unless you have proven it works for you, broad thematic goals are demonstrably less effective than specific ones. If it works, any good psychologist will encourage you to build on it.

John Norcross: If it hasn't worked before, relying on abstract themes usually fails. For most people, specific goals work better. We suggest starting with a theme, then breaking it down into subgoals. If your main theme is to be healthier, specify one or two concrete actions to achieve it.

John Norcross: Then you have both an overarching theme that feels comfortable and specific, realistic goals you can work toward.

BrentResearch shows specific goals are better, but if a different approach motivates you and yields results, that's fine too.

John Norcross: Whatever works better for you.

BrentWhat about focusing on inputs rather than outputs? For example, setting an output goal of losing 15 pounds versus an input goal of exercising four times a week or eating vegetables for lunch and dinner.

BrentHow do you view input-focused versus output-focused goals?

John Norcross: Research touches on a similar distinction: are you trying to avoid/remove something, or add something positive? They are complementary—to lose 10 or 15 pounds, you must adopt new habits. Research suggests focusing on positive, approach-oriented goals is key.

John Norcross: You can reframe a negative goal like "lose 15 pounds" into "eat healthier, skip some desserts, and increase exercise by 10%." The two perspectives complement each other, but striving toward a positive additions yields better results than solely taking things away.

John Norcross: Don't just eliminate a habit; add something healthy, positive, and motivating to your life.

BrentIt comes down to framing. Losing 15 pounds might be the target, but framing it constructively and positively works better than framing it purely as a reduction.

John Norcross: Exactly. You can state that your specific goal is weight reduction, but frame your broader goal as feeling better, becoming healthier, and growing into the person you want to be.

BrentFrom a motivation perspective, how do you view carrots versus sticks? A carrot would be a reward for hitting a goal, like going on a vacation after losing 15 pounds. A stick would be a penalty, like burning $100 for every week you miss workouts.

BrentWhat does research say about setting rewards versus punishments, and how effective are they?

John Norcross: People tend toward black-and-white thinking, but research shows you should use both. Provide ample rewards when you succeed—not just material ones, but self-affirmations, or a contract with a loved one to praise your progress, leading up to a larger reward at the end.

John Norcross: We also need realistic consequences. Self-blame and guilt decrease your chances of success, but withholding a regular pleasure works well as a consequence when you fall short.

John Norcross: For example, I love watching Jeopardy! If I miss my weekly goal for writing or exercise, I don't let myself watch it. It's frustrating, but it's not severe punishment—it just ties a pleasant activity to my goal. The answer is to use both: reward progress and temporarily withhold a pleasure when off track to double your motivation.

BrentThat reminds me of a friend's father who stayed in great shape. He wouldn't let himself have a glass of wine or treat at dinner unless he had exercised that day.

BrentIt kept him motivated and helped maintain a balanced habit.

John Norcross: When he met the goal, he enjoyed the wine as a reward.

BrentIt's a combination of reward and minor consequence.

John Norcross: Yes.

BrentYou mentioned accountability. I heard of someone who had to send a friend $100 if they missed four workouts in a week, or call to admit it. It doesn't always require money.

BrentHow do you view the role of accountability? Tactically, what works best—financial stakes, regular check-ins with a friend, or something else?

John Norcross: Accountability takes many forms. The buddy system—working toward goals with another person or group—is demonstrably more effective. Social support offers encouragement, reminders, and accountability.

John Norcross: Anyone who has had to tell a teacher they didn't do their homework understands that push. What you're describing is a contingency contract—a formal agreement with a friend to tie your progress to a consequence.

John Norcross: It doesn't have to be monetary. I've had patients agree to wash both neighbors' cars if they missed workouts. Some pledge to donate to an opposing political candidate or cause they dislike if they fail.

John Norcross: That strong incentive keeps them on track. Buddy systems, small groups, and contingency contracts all help. Just ensure the penalty isn't so severe that it discourages honest reporting.

BrentSo there needs to be friction, but not so much that you avoid accountability. What about public declarations—like announcing on Facebook that you're quitting smoking to create social accountability?

John Norcross: The research on this is fascinating. We studied this in our resolution research: public commitments are slightly more effective than private ones, but they introduce the risk of social anxiety. For some, that extra pressure increases motivation. For others, the anxiety becomes overwhelming.

John Norcross: If a slip occurs, high anxiety can cause people to give up entirely. If you thrive under public commitment, use it to boost your chances. If public pressure creates crippling performance anxiety, keep your commitments private.

BrentBy "public," you mean broadcasting to a group or on social media, rather than sharing one-on-one versus keeping it entirely in your head.

John Norcross: Right. Announcing it at a meeting or on social media is a public commitment. I've had patients stand up at work to state their resolutions, which definitely ups the ante.

BrentWhat is the role of identity in behavior change? Adopting a mindset like "I am an exerciser" and repeating positive mantras—does that "fake it 'til you make it" strategy actually work?

BrentHow important is adopting the identity of the person you want to become through notes, voice memos, or mantras?

John Norcross: Shifting identity takes time, and simple self-affirmations alone don't work. Repeating mantras in the mirror without action isn't effective. Affirmations serve as minor reminders, but actual execution of the behavior is what changes identity—from a smoker to a non-smoker, or sedentary to active.

John Norcross: Relying solely on morning affirmations without doing the hard behavioral work predicts failure. Affirmations are fine as a supplement, but identity follows action, not the other way around.

BrentAffirmations alone predict failure. Changing identity is a byproduct of doing the work. You have to do the heavy lifting first. Before moving to your framework, I want to ask about internal self-talk.

BrentBehavior change often hinges on small, momentary decisions and internal conversations.

BrentFor instance, on a Saturday afternoon while the kids are sleeping, I know I should run. Part of me wants to relax on the couch, while another part reminds me I'll feel better if I get out the door.

BrentOnce I get out the door, I always complete the run. Managing that internal dialogue at the decision point determines success or failure for me.

BrentHow do you effectively manage that internal voice when it tempts you to choose the easy option over taking action?

John Norcross: That internal debate is like the classic angel and devil on your shoulders. People pay too much attention to general self-talk rather than those crucial mini-decisions in the moment.

John Norcross: Several factors help here. First, structure consequences on both sides: if you choose to stay on the couch, you forego the reward (like wine, Jeopardy!, or progress). That immediately shifts the equation.

John Norcross: Second, focus on your desired self-image: do you want to be the person lounging on the couch, or the person taking action? Consider the legacy and model you set for your family.

John Norcross: Finally, remove temptation by managing your environment. Don't sit near the couch or turn on the TV if it triggers procrastination.

John Norcross: Use environmental control: step away from the situation immediately, rely on your planned rewards and self-image, and take action.

BrentYou've written Changeology, among more than 20 books in your career. I'd love to walk through the Changeology framework sequentially to explain how to set and achieve goals effectively.

BrentCan we start with pre-contemplation and go through the stages?

John Norcross: That's a great place to start. This stems from the pioneering work of my longtime colleagues, Drs. Jim Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, on the Stages of Change, which began 40 years ago in addiction treatment and expanded to general behavior change.

John Norcross: In pre-contemplation, the person doesn't realize there is a problem, even though family and friends see it clearly. People often label this "denial," but we prefer "pre-contemplation"—unawareness of the problem.

John Norcross: Next is contemplation, where awareness begins. You start thinking about the issue and considering change, without immediate intent to act. You acknowledge there might be a problem.

John Norcross: It's vital not to force immediate action. Let yourself process the impact, the difficulties, and why the habit persists. Problems endure because they offer some perceived benefit or reward.

John Norcross: After contemplation comes preparation and action. Preparation is brief, involving initial setup steps before taking full action. Most of the world focuses only on the action stage and ignores contemplation.

John Norcross: People overlook the emotional work of contemplation and the ongoing effort of maintenance. A patient once told me his family nagged him for 15 years about drinking, congratulated him for two weeks when he quit, and forgot about it afterward.

John Norcross: Change isn't just taking action; it requires long-term maintenance. You must match your strategy to your stage—avoiding slips in maintenance requires different tools than building motivation in contemplation.

John Norcross: What you do in maintenance is vastly different from building initial awareness in contemplation.

BrentTo recap: pre-contemplation is subconscious. You engage in a harmful habit without recognizing it as a problem, even if others do.

BrentYou simply aren't noticing it.

John Norcross: Through defensive filters and selective perception, you tune out the problem.

BrentIn contemplation, an internal voice emerges. You start recognizing that a habit isn't serving you well, even if you haven't taken action yet.

BrentYou acknowledge internally that a change is needed, processing it emotionally even before taking concrete steps.

BrentYou realize you want to change, but haven't acted on it yet.

John Norcross: Yes. Loving, constructive feedback from people who care about you also helps lower your guard so you can reflect on the impact of your actions.

John Norcross: They can express love while pointing out that specific behaviors cause harm.

BrentIn contemplation, internal realization matters most. You might hear feedback from others during pre-contemplation, but internalize it in contemplation.

John Norcross: Correct. Ultimately, you must make the decision yourself and shift to action.

BrentPeople often hesitate to offer compassionate feedback about habits because giving negative feedback feels uncomfortable.

BrentMany notice a friend's issue but lack the courage or comfort to bring it up directly.

BrentIf you care about someone and want to offer feedback, how should you approach that conversation?

John Norcross: Motivational interviewing provides a great approach: ask for permission first. Say, "As a friend, something has been on my mind, but I hesitate to bring it up. Are you open to hearing it right now?"

John Norcross: Giving them choice respects their boundaries. If they decline, you've honored their wishes.

John Norcross: If they agree, affirm your friendship first, then use "I" statements focusing on specific behaviors: "When you do X, I feel Y." This avoids blanket judgments.

John Norcross: End on a positive note, reassuring them of your support regardless of their choice.

BrentThat approach is truly compassionate. Remaining silent isn't always the kindest choice, even if it feels easier in the moment.

John Norcross: Avoidance prolongs harmful patterns. Make sure you share a foundation of trust before offering that level of feedback.

BrentFraming it as "When you do X, I feel Y" minimizes argument because your experience is subjective and clear, rather than an accusatory generalization.

BrentIt avoids debating opinion.

John Norcross: Compared to saying "You drink too much," which invites defense and argument.

BrentTo recap: pre-contemplation means unawareness; contemplation involves growing awareness internally and through feedback. Preparation is where you turn awareness into concrete plans, like setting goals and defining action steps.

BrentWhat specific steps happen in the preparation stage?

John Norcross: In preparation, you bridge awareness and action. You refine realistic goals, frame them positively, design a specific action plan, build confidence, and, if helpful, make public commitments.

BrentIf the goal is exercising four times a week, what does a practical action plan look like?

John Norcross: Separate the goal from the route to get there. Saying "I want to exercise" is like naming a destination without planning the drive. Map out details: gear, schedule, and contingencies for weather or delays.

John Norcross: Starting with three times a week might build better initial momentum. Prepare logistics: scheduling, shoes, indoor options for bad weather—focusing on *how* you will execute, not just *what*.

John Norcross: Establish all the practical details ahead of time.

BrentWrite out requirements for success: scheduling time, arranging backup options, replacing worn gear like running shoes—anticipating logistics in advance.

BrentIdentifying practical steps and preparing resources beforehand sets up execution.

BrentLaying out these details in advance makes success far more likely.

John Norcross: Align with family and support systems so everyone understands your schedule and goals. Having those details in order prepares you for January 1st.

BrentSo preparation involves picking 1–2 resolutions, designing an action plan, establishing accountability, and then transitioning to action on January 2nd.

BrentWhat matters most once you enter the action phase?

John Norcross: Three factors drive success in action: first, adopt healthy alternative behaviors rather than focusing only on stopping bad habits (e.g., mixing up workouts with running, walking, or yoga).

John Norcross: Second, apply carrots and sticks consistently. Enjoy rewards when you succeed, and maintain minor consequences when you fall short.

John Norcross: Combine positive self-talk and external encouragement, along with consistent light consequences to stay on track.

John Norcross: Third, track your progress through self-monitoring—writing progress down or logging it digitally. This keeps you accountable, reinforces progress, and highlights where adjustments are needed.

John Norcross: Tracking shows where plans need tweaking. Combining alternative healthy behaviors, self-monitoring, and balanced rewards builds long-term success.

John Norcross: Adjusting your plan based on real progress keeps momentum going.

BrentIf someone is tracking progress in January and hits a setback in week three, entering maintenance and missing targets, how should they view that?

BrentDoes that mean they've relapsed?

John Norcross: Distinguish between a slip (a lapse) and complete abandonment (a relapse). A single missed target is just a slip, not a full relapse.

John Norcross: In our long-term study, 71% of successful resolvers noted their first slip ultimately strengthened their resolve. Slips rekindled commitment, refined action plans, and heightened drive.

John Norcross: Never view a slip as total failure. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking—known as the abstinence violation effect—where one mistake makes you feel like giving up entirely.

John Norcross: Research, which simply means you're a saint or sinner. So if you have been abstinent or exercising consistently for two weeks and you slip once, the abstinence violation effect says, well, you were a saint, but now you're a sinner, you're going to hell. Say, Amazo, go drunk, and then you totally abandon it. So here thinking is absolutely critical.

John Norcross: We have strategies to handle slips so one mistake doesn't turn into total abandonment.

BrentThat aligns with a growth mindset: view slips as learning opportunities and a normal part of progress.

John Norcross: More than 90% of successful resolvers slip multiple times. It's about learning and moving forward.

BrentBehavioral frameworks used in addiction treatment—like community support, peer accountability, and structured stages—seem broadly applicable to general goal setting.

BrentFrameworks like 12-step programs use social support, admission of issues, and sponsors. These principles apply well beyond addiction.

BrentYou started in addiction research and expanded to general behavior change. How broadly do these frameworks apply?

BrentHow relevant are addiction behavior change frameworks to general life goals?

John Norcross: Initially I was skeptical that addiction research would apply directly to general goals, but extensive research proved otherwise.

John Norcross: These core principles work across depression, anxiety, and personal resolutions—forming a true science of behavior change, despite differences in clinical severity.

John Norcross: With minor adjustments, these principles apply effectively to over 200 behavioral conditions worldwide.

BrentWhat current research or upcoming developments in behavior change excite you most?

John Norcross: Two things: first, better training for handling slips. While 80% of people achieve meaningful change through self-help or therapy, slips happen. We're focusing on how to shorten lapses so they don't lead to full relapse.

John Norcross: Techniques like "urge surfing" (derived from mindfulness traditions) teach people to observe an urge for a few seconds until it passes, helping manage temptations effectively.

John Norcross: Developing emotional regulation and presence helps reduce recurrence rates in habits, addictions, and depression.

John Norcross: Second, therapy is moving away from rigid theoretical schools. Modern psychologists integrate methods based on what works for the individual patient rather than adhering strictly to one doctrine.

John Norcross: Psychotherapy integration focuses on practical effectiveness rather than ideological labels.

BrentAny final takeaways for listeners preparing their New Year's resolutions?

John Norcross: Limit yourself to 1 or 2 resolutions, follow evidence-based principles, and give yourself a strong chance of success. If you experience a slip, reset and try again.

John Norcross: It's a marathon, not a sprint. Millions of people attempt positive self-improvement every year—let's support and celebrate that commitment to growth.

BrentDr. John Norcross, thank you for joining us.

John Norcross: My pleasure, Brent. Happy New Year.

BrentDeath Clock is recorded in Boulder, Colorado, and San Francisco, California. Produced by Patrick Gudino, music by Patrick Lee, hosted by Brent Franson, founder and CEO of Death Clock.